Sunday, February 15, 2009

ANBT

All Native Basketball Tournament. It was the 50th this year. Huge.. Amazing. I had no intensions on even going. I didn't want to go & I didn't care that I wasn't. But on Wednesday (the 11th), my Dad decided he felt like going - so we ended up going. Just until Friday because I had to work Friday night :) It was great to see all my friends again, just chill in the civic & walk around down town. If I didn't go, I would have been totally fine, but it was great to get to go :)

You know what else happened on the 11th? It was Akims birthday! <3 He turned 18 (finally), lol. He's 6 months older than me & he DOESN'T LET ME FORGET IT! Lol. I can't wait to be 18! :)

Alsssoo.. At school on the 11th, I had my Grad Photos taken. My first set was gross, lol. I didn't like ONE picture, so she took another set - which I liked 2 or 3, so that was awesome that she let me re-take some!

Yesterday? I got the flu. Yep. Right after I got home from work. I started shivering @ 4 & tried sleeping, but layed there for 3 hours, scared & shaking. I started to sweat. Then I went to the bathroom to wipe the sweat off my face & my Dad asked if I was feeling sick. I felt like I lost my voice, I couldn't respond! I went in my room & I started crying like a little bitch. My Mom came in & heard me crying. She asked what was wrong & I told her I've been shivering for hours. So before Dad, Craig & Uncle Wayne went to the Demons game, my Dad stopped off @ Shoppers for some meds for me! My sides started to hurt, I could barely stand, when I cough, I'd lose my breath, my throat was hurting, I was sweating like CRAZY, my head was hurting & I couldn't even get up from my bed by myself. It was horrible... I didn't stop shivering until like 11pm, until I finally fell asleep, but I woke up @ 4, sweating & shivering. It sucked. Hard.

But anyways..
I did a lot of thinking today & I've always did what people told me to do, what would make them happy & what they say is best. Its about time I do something for MY happiness. Something that my hearts telling me to do & I know I want this. In July, its ON. I'm leaving this village to live & I'm gonna have fun doing it. I'm gonna be safe & I WILL be back. I'm not gonna say exactly what I'm talking about, although I'm sure some of you know.. I trust that my parents raised me right & Dolores taught me to follow my gut. It never lies to you. & my gut feeling is telling me that everything will be fine. Like I said, I WILL be back & I WILL get my education - I'm just taking time off. I know lots of students say that & never get to it - but if they start right away, they usually don't like it & drop out for even longer. People seem to be against what I wanna do. "What if this happens?" "What if you don't feel the way you thought you would?" "What if you get hurt?" Well, WHAT IF EVERYTHING TURNS OUT LIKE IM PLANNING?! Did you ever think about that? Like, really, I can't 100% promise that I'll be okay & that shit will turn out, but in my heart, I think so. If it doesn't turn out? It was my fault & that's when you can say, "I told you so." But I'm just so over people doubting me & wanting me to do what THEY want. Life is short. Live that shit!

"Sometimes it's hard to breathe. Just knowing you found me."
* Jennifer! <3

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