February 2nd was the day...

We finally made it to one year. This is my first ever one year anniversary and it feels good. I mean, the moment is bittersweet though. I find myself getting emotional, both happy and sad. Happy because we had sunny days, and a few storms, and we made it through that shit. Sad because I wanted so bad to be next to him for this moment.

Regardless, that's my baby, that's my love, that's my husband. Tomorrow morning, I'm gonna make a video of me singing to him as an anniversary gift. Kidding! I wanna do something though. Something worth doing & something he'll like. But idk what? I want all I do for him to be just.. perfect

Ahhhh damn you, tears! lol. Maan, I don't care if people call me a "sap" or "lame" for being so emotional but I don't think anybody will ever understand how much I really, TRUELY love this guy. Ever since I got with him, I LOVE LIFE. I see the good in it, cause I used to hate it. Before him, I didn't care if I died the next day. That's how bad it was. I'm tellin' you, he's my everything. I wouldn't dare mess up what we have. I put my all into this relationship. I don't recall me ever looking at the phone and not picking up when he calls, I ALWAYS pick up, whether I'm mad at him or not (unless I fall asleep with my ringer off or I'm in class!) Damn school. I cherish every second we speak. Ooh, what I wouldn't give to be next to him right now.. Sometimes I hate long distance, lol. But there ain't no way in hell I'm giving up on him. He's my everything. I just wish I could make him REALIZE that! Or make somebody.. anybody realize it.

I knoooow, I know, I'm only 17; what do I know about love? Well, I only know what it is because of Akim. And not to mention? I'm in love emotionally.. Not physically like all you other teenaged chumps. But back to my point - I only know what love is because of him. He made my life good again (like I mentioned), he re-assures me about things, reminds me he loves me @ the most random times, calls me to see how I am & say "I love you," leaves voicemails saying it if I don't pick up (because ringers off or I'm in school) and just.. Maan, I can't even explain it. Its all flattering! To know that somebody as amazing as him is in love with ME? Its breath taking, it really is. I'm head over heels, I'm sprung, I'm hooked. Call it what you want it. I'm not giving up for nothin'. We got this. I love you, baby.