Thursday, July 7, 2011

PURPOSE

What is your purpose? What is mine? Does anybody really have one? Why do we complain about our lives? Does everything really happen for a reason? Why do I ask so many questions I know I will never know the answers to? READ THE ALCHEMIST.

But what's up with yall?

I've been slowly (and surely) trying to figure this whole life thing out. It's hard. It's complicated. Sometimes I don't know up from down, left from right, right from wrong... Sometimes I wish I can just go back to when I was a  baby so I can live my life all over again. Did I do it right? If I went back, would I even be the same person I am? I don't believe so. I hate Kanye West, but in a song of his, he says "everything I'm not, made me everything I am." It's kinda true. Really! And I mean everything. I believe that every SINGLE thing that we have done in our life, has lead us to the point we're at right now. One thing different and we probably wouldn't be anything like the person we are today. Think long and hard about it. I did. If you disagree? Whatever. You have your own opinions. Comment about it.

You know what? I keep saying that I'm old. In my mind, sometimes I feel like I am... people are always like, "You are NOT old!" But that's not what my mind thinks sometimes. But I'm really off and on about the whole situation. I've said it once in my blog and I'll say it again... "People always say life is short, but it's the longest thing we've got! So, live it!"
But THEN... I'll think about it like, I'm kindaaa not that old. I just feel stuck. But when I think about it, just graduated college a few months ago. I'm 19. I would have to say I learned a shit-load in college (obviously), but I can say I learned a LOT more about myself and life just being there. When you're away by yourself, you realize things. You learn a lot. It's kinda like you get the idea of what it'll be like, but you're actually living it for that moment and it's so overwhelming and just so much more then you expected! Maybe that's just me? Meh, I don't know.

Another note? I've also learned that as far as complaining goes, we need to give ourselves a little talk before we start to verbally express certain feelings. ESPECIALLY ON FACEBOOK! We need to take the thing we are about to complain about and put it into either one of two categories. You ready?

Category one: Things that I can do something about
Category two: Things that I cannot do something about

Complicated, huh?

For example... complaining about how tall you are? You can't change how tall you are, so stop bitchin' about it. I mean, unless you're going to go schedule an appointment for Limb/Leg Lengthening Surgery. But seriously! The other example... complaining about how broke you are. That is fixable. So, instead of complaining and blaming people, think of how you can NOT be broke. Duh people. But it can be hard sometimes. I'm not saying it isn't! It's verrryy hard not to complain about certain things -- especially when you're so caught up in the moment, so angry, so upset, etc., etc. But keep this in mind! I've been trying to lately.
Also, the fact of the matter is, even though sooo many people get on my nerves (lol), I try to help everyone be the best person they can be. But I know it starts with me. I'm not too old and I don't have anything to complain about. It's so hard to prove that I'm a good person and I'm willing to help others when everyone has a certain look at me. They either judge me because of what I've done, who I'm with, who my family is, or something I've said. When I was younger, there was so much unnecessary drama going on, but I'm over it! I feel like there's two groups of people who graduate from high school. People who mature, and people who take another 10 years to mature. I've been letting the little feuds go and move on. If I don't talk to you, it doesn't mean I hate you. In my books, there are 4 categories in which I put people in... and you can judge me if you want. Here are the categories!

1. People I Talk To.
(we converse, have lunch, text, walk with, etc).

2. People I Say Hi To.
(do not have real conversations -- maybe "How is it going?" "Good" "That's good." "Take care")

3. People I See & Know Exist.
(a lot of these people are probably people that think I hate them. It's people I see at the store sometimes or see in a group of people, and we don't talk to at all. I do not have beef with these people -- we just don't deal! Maybe they have beef with me? Who knows!)


4. People I Dislike (Usually For A Reason).

(now, to be honest... there are only 4 people I can think of that go in this group. If anything, I'm missing one person, but I know for sure this "list" is not over 5 people. I try to stop with all the hatred. There is only ONE person from my home town on this list, and chances are you would not guess who it is).
That's it for now, I guess. If I blog this weekend, it's while I'm in Rupert, so it'll be short because it'll be via. Blackberry. But seriously. Once again, read The Alchemist. Great book. It'll make you think.

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1 comment:

  1. Jennifer Bolton,
    It's clear to me that you're as real as they come annd that your thought process is a lot more mature than your age. Something tells me its due to the fact that you're a youth that has discovered life beyond Kitamaat/kitimat.
    Unfortunately I didn't have time to read any further than this, cuz I'm just on my phone, but its definitely caught my attention. I look forward to reading more of your blog :) thanks for sharing.
    -MeganJ (Ross)

    ReplyDelete